Week Two: An adventure of sorts

This week has been a "mixed feelings-kind of" week.

Some days were great, while others were simply horrible.

To start off with the good, basically Monday to Wednesday all went well with school. In Biology, surprisingly I understand the gist of what is going on. English, I have made some progress with this New Criticism project. Math, simple as pie (well SOH CAH TOA that is). The only thing that I'm weary with is the fact that I have still not received the confirmation e-mail for my online courses. But the Guidance Counselor said that come Monday, she's going to sort it all out and instead register me in Adult Ed, which is essentially like online except you do the work on paper and drop it off at an office.

In addition, last week I cleaned my room and to my surprise I found a numerous amounts of things that made me feel overzealous joy. My calligraphy sets  (including two feather quills three bottles of ink, and 24 ink cartridges); approximately 6 bags of Skittles (yes I know, it's quite sad); and my track and field awards. By me finding these things, I was met with feelings of pure joy. Even though it was something so little to the average person, to me finding those things reminded me of who I am as a person. My uniqueness still exists, despite what my mind keeps telling me. 


However, within a matter of seconds I ended up losing all of my happiness and motivation to do anything. Even my homework (which I still haven't done yet).


On another note, I went for my first psych session on Thursday. First of all I was late, which didn't really set the tone off right. The session consisted of me learning how do deal with my anxiety through simple, yet effective ways. However, it was a pretty quick session and to be honest, I don't really know how I feel about all this. My plan is to go to my next two sessions to see if I find any sort of release from my current emotional prison. If so, I will continue to keep seeing him. If not, then I will bring to attention the fact that I would best be suited seeing another psychologist.


After my appointment, my mother and I went out to dinner. She confronted me and said "Look at me...What's wrong?" She knows me better than anyone else. And she can easily tell when something is wrong. I believe that she has a "sixth sense" or something that tells her when I am in trouble. "You have been disorganized and you haven't talked to me since school started." she proceeded to say. After about a 5 minute long silent treatment, I proceeded to tell her everything that was wrong. With school, my social life, the breakup with my boyfriend. I won't tell you everything I said, just because some of them are private. But after a long talk, I soon came to terms about all of it and realized that it was nothing to be upset over.


This caused me to go on an adventure of sorts. Not an adventure that most would depict as "normal" or even interesting. Inside my mind I went deep into my sub-conscious mind and uncovered thoughts and feelings that I never thought I had before. A revelation of sorts. All of the things that were bothering me and the thoughts that accompanied them started racing through my mind. At that time I began to realize, "Why am I even thinking about these things?"

What made it all worth it though was what happened today. I was sitting in bed, with the darkness that was surrounding me. Both physically and emotionally. All of a sudden I hear the creak of my door. Too uninterested to even look up, I sat there thinking to myself "I wonder who that could be? Mom coming to bitch me out about something I didn't do? Or Dad to come harass me about eating something (after not eating for 3 days straight). To my surprise, no. It was my sister. Standing in the doorway, holding a plate of buckwheat pancakes with maple syrup staring at me. She proceeded to walk in and say "Here". She handed the plate to me. I took it with great confusion. I said "What?". She responded "I made extra and nobody wanted them so there you go." When she said that I soon came to terms about it. The reason why she decided to do that kind gesture. She knew I was feeling depressed



My motto of the week:
"The simple things in life end up making it all worth living"

So from here on out....here come some new posts.

So I just uploaded all of my old posts, well the one's I liked anyways. Don't pay attention to the dates they were uploaded on. The real dates I wrote them are written within the post at the top. Also, I have organized my poems and stories in a separate page, so just click on "Stories and Poems" on the sidebar to access them. In addition, you can find copies of my articles in the page entitled "Articles and Stuff", like its name suggests.

Majic 100’s #NoMoreBullies Tour at Rockland District High School

November 17th, 2011

On Tuesday, November 15th, we attended Majic 100’s #NoMoreBullies Campaign at Rockland District High School. This tour lead by the Majic 100 crew, travels to different schools in the Ottawa and surrounding areas and discusses the various issues of bullying and the trauma it has on one’s life. As fellow students of Rockland District High School, we were excited to see what this presentation would be like. Each having the experience of being bullied throughout stages of our lives, we were intrigued as to how this presentation would affect us. What we were met with was sheer astonishment and tear-jerking emotion.
While we were watching this presentation, We were astounded and inspired by the various media that was used to portray the corruption of today`s childhood, otherwise known as bullying. This was unlike any bullying presentation we’ve seen. Hearing the guest speakers stories and how bullying has affected their lives, whether directly or not, was truly inspiring. In addition, the fact that this presentation was directed at youth and having people that youth can relate to was even more effective in getting the point across. Also, the videos that were presented to us were incredible, such as the one of Jamie Hubely, a 15-year old boy who committed suicide after dealing with the pain and torment of being bullied because he was gay. This just proves that even the happiest of people, people that you would not expect to harm themselves can do it so easily just because of something as senseless as bullying. Also, it shows how bullying will scar a person for the rest of their lives.
We were also shocked to hear of some very startling statistics, such as the fact that suicide is the second leading cause of deaths amongst teenagers, aside from accidents. This really put things into perspective as to the damaging effects that bullying has on a child. Making them feel like a crumpled up piece of paper, as they showed in the presentation. Overall, this presentation has opened our eyes as to how serious bullying has really become. It is also amazing to know that there are now many programs and resources, such as Youth Net that helps children and teenagers deal with bullying and the struggles of everyday life. Some of these included snowboarding, art and yoga programs that allow youth to escape from the daily stress of life and give them the chance to interact with others that are going through the same things as them. It also gave people a chance to talk to professionals from CHEO and get advice on how to deal with the problems they were facing. They showed us different ways to deal with depression, stress, anxiety and bullying.
In all, we found this presentation to be one of the most inspiring presentations we have ever seen. It made us feel empowered and strong, knowing that we are not the only ones out there that have dealt with this problem and that it gave us the power to stand up to bullying and help end it once and for all.
# NoMoreBullies
Written by Shannon LeBlanc
Student at Rockland District High School

A great night at Meritas

May 26th, 2012

Okay so on Thursday I went to our school annual Meritas celebration. It is an event that celebrates academic and extracurricular achievement and recognizes students who actively participate among the school community. 

I got a pretty big shock though. First when they started to call up the highest overall marks in each class (for grade 11), my name got called first. At first I was like "What?". The MC then proceeded to say "Shannon LeBlanc, highest in Travel and Tourism..." I had I slight idea about that one. She then proceeded to say "Highest in Anthropology, Sociology and Psychology..." At that point I had already gotten up from my seat to walk up to the stage. I'll be honest, my reaction was reflective of shock at that point. I said to myself "What? Really?". I kind of stopped in my tracks a little bit at that point because I was scared. Finally the MC finished by saying "and highest in grade 11 Dramatic Arts". At that point I nearly had a heart attack out of the shock it produced for me. Drama? Really? That's the class I'm in right now. Out of all the kids in my class, I have the highest mark? After seeing my progress sheet and all of the level 1's on it. That probably shocked me the most out of all of them.

I finally made it to the stage, where the teacher then proceeded to hand me the certificates. He then said to me "Congratulations.". I replied "Thank you Sir." I walked over to the side and soon after walked back down back to my seat.

After all that was said and done, the time came to announce the clubs. The first club that was called up was the drama club. I took part in this club (hence Sears Drama Fest). At first I was resistant about going up, just out of fear that someone might say that I wasn’t in drama club. But then after a short ponder I realized that this was highly irrational, as everyone already knew that I was. So therefore, I proceeded to make my way up to the stage again, where I was met by all of my other drama peers and my Drama teacher Ms. Smith. She proceeded to hand me the badge. After everyone received the badges, I went to go sit back down.

The grande finale was about 20 minutes later when the award, the one in which I desired the most proceeded to be called upon. The Community Involvement Award. Based on the fact that I had over 600 community service hours, I had a strong feeling that I would be a qualifier for this award. All of my friends turned and stared at me, hinting at the fact that I was most likely going to get the award.

I sat trembling in my chair as the teacher, who just so happened to be my English teacher Ms. Wilcox preceded to the stage. She started her speech about the winner. She said things like “She is an active role model and influence in our community…” The “she” aspect should have been the first cue. But of course I, being the negative person that I am doubted it. She then proceeded to say “She has over 600 community service hours”. That is when it clicked that there might be a slight possibility that it might be me. Finally, she then continued to say “The winner of this year’s Community Involvement Award is… Shannon LeBlanc”. At that point I was frozen in my seat, l basically unable to move. A couple seconds later I got over the initial shock and proceeded to stand up and walk towards the stage. It seemed like an eternity, but when I finally got there I was met by Ms. Wilcox and a plaque. She then smiled and said to me “Congratulations!” I have rarely won anything in my life, so this was really an honour for me. However, while I was standing up there I was petrified as I looked out at the audience and their gaze fixed upon me. And to be honest, I hate being the center of attention, so that whole occurrence just startled me a little bit. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting for my mom to take the picture I preceded back to my seat. The applause died down and the celebration continued on. Still trembling slightly I handed the award over to my mom to show her. She smiled and said “Good job.” When all was said and done, I felt really proud and happy of myself.

After Meritas was over, everyone walked to the back of the gym to get refreshments and to start the after dance. They then shut down the lights and turned up the speakers to symbolize that the party had just begun. I walked over to my boyfriend and my best friend Lindsey and her boyfriend and we all started to dance. Throughout the night I got many compliments about how I looked, including many from my boyfriend. I hate the attention so it was kind of awkward for me. But a couple of slow dances and a couple of swollen feet later, the dance ended. After that I walked out to the car with Kieran and my sister and we proceeded to drive home. We got home at around 11:15pm, by which at that time I was exhausted. I walked up to my room and passed out on the bed in a dead sleep. During that time I dreamed about that night and everything that happened in between.

I definitely conclude that that night was one of the best nights I have ever had in a long time.

My Birthday Volunteering Experience

April 28th, 2012

Okay, so I have only gotten around to writing this now on account of my busy school schedule. But since it’s the weekend I thought it would be a good time to post this. As most of you probably don’t know, my birthday was on the 27th of April and for my birthday I decided that I was going to go on a huge volunteering spree. I know, what a weird thing to do on my birthday right, Well, I‘m kind of different that way and find that since people are helping me celebrate and make this one day special for me, I would do the same for others.

The first event which I took part in was the 30 Hour Famine, which was held at our school. This event was run by the Vice Principal Mrs. Wilcox and my English teacher Ms. Wilcox.

During the event, I felt a little out of place and socially awkward. In fact, for the first 2 hours, I was doing homework (yeah, what a fun and exciting thing to do.) Soon after, some of my friends came over and offered me to play “Taboo” with them. I had no idea what Taboo was or how to play for that matter, but I still joined them. It proved to be very fun and amusing. This continued for about an hour until we decided to go play basketball in the gym for a little while. Soon after, we were informed that dinner was ready, dinner meaning a cup of rice. After all, it was a famine. We made our way to the kitchen, where Ms. Wilcox was standing serving rice to the other students. My friend Kia and I stood patiently until we were informed to come. We both stood there awkwardly while she waited for us to present our cups. Both Kia and I, being the polite people that we are offered the other to go first. “Go ahead Shannon” she said. “No, you go Kia.” I responded. This went on for approximately 10 minutes while the teacher stood there and laughed and said “This is amusing.” Finally after a long debate, I won the debate and forced Kia to go first. This proved to be quite amusing for everyone involved.

Next, we moved on to play some video games. Someone had brought in Guitar Hero. Since I have played that game before, I figured that I would try to play again. After carefully asking if I could play (yes, social awkwardness shows here) I took on the role of guitar. After about 2 hours, a group of us continued to play until we got carpal tunnel. However, a weird and strange occurrence happened. Our English teacher inquired if she could play with us. To be honest I’ve never heard of something like that, but either way we let here join in. She took on the role of vocals, I stayed on Guitar and another peer of mine took on drums. After we readjusted ourselves, we began to play again. At first she looked a little bit awkward and uncomfortable, but then she got into the mood. She actually had a pretty good voice to say the least.

When we finished playing, Josh, another friend of mine had brought in Super Smash Bros. Once again, I have no idea what the game was or how to play. As you can tell I’m not the video game type, but I decided to play anyways. After a while, I kind of got the hang of it and was told “Shannon, you’re too good for this game!” To be honest, I was just hitting random buttons at that point. Suddenly, another guest wanted to join us in our “brawl”. Guess who? Ms. Wilcox! Again, she wanted to join us and play. Since we are all students of hers we said that it was okay. When we started playing again, it was evident that she had played this game before. However, a strange occurrence in which I proceeded to punch her character multiple times and then proceeded to throw her off the cliff changed the mood of the gaming experience. This was followed by the sound of Juniors voice saying “Shannon, I think you just killed Ms. Wilcox.” I then stared over at her, in slight fear that she was going to rage at me. I was met with a long stare proceeded by laughter.

After, this long gaming experience, we were told that it was “lights out”. It was only 11:00pm, but for some people that as late. We then proceeded back to the library where the rest of the students were met up.

-We were told that we were going to participate in a school wide Hide and Seek match. The twist, it was going to be played in the dark. In pitch blackness. No lights, no limitations, just a good old fashioned game of Hide and Seek. We proceeded to begin, and soon after, it turned into quite a match. The hiding places people found, under the stage, in between vending machines, even in garbage cans! It was extremely fun, even though I had to stop after the 5^th round or so. This continued on until 2:00am, where we were told that it was “bedtime”. I believe there is no such thing, but none-the-less I complied. There we all changed and ensued to set up our sleeping stations.

There we sat (Junior, his younger sister Zena, Kia, Josh and I) all sat around Kia’s laptop to watch Adventure Time. This went on for a good 2 hours. By then everyone was exhausted and basically fell into a deep slumber.

In the morning, I proceeded to wake up at 5:00am, like I normally do with the exception of 10 minutes behind. I changed into normal clothing, cleaned up my station and packed up my bags. I got ready and refreshed myself up to prepare for breakfast. When I got to the cafeteria at 6:00am, there were the other students all lined up waiting for pancakes, a sustenance of food in which they had lacked for 30 hours. Of course since I can’t eat pancakes, I waited until the end, where I was met by “Mr.Wilcox” in which he served me a custom made breakfast consisting of steel ground oats, maple syrup, fresh juice and fruit. This made me feel special and welcomed as a vegan.

After breakfast, I was picked up by my mother where I said goodbye to my friends and thank you to the supervisors. We then proceeded to head off to my next volunteering event.

The next event, which was a little bit shorter, was my annual Environment Canada CANWARN training in Nepean.  At this event, we learn about storm spotting techniques and the knowledge behind extreme weather. This event was only about 6 hours long, in which 4 of it was a 124 slide presentation presented by Environment Canada Meteorologist Peter Kimbell. He proceeded to inform us about the facts about the types and severity of weather occurrences. To be honest, it was nothing I have never seen before; I’ve known these facts since I was basically 8 years old. What are the types of clouds? What is a microburst? What is the Fujita scale? All of this was basic common knowledge to me.  Never-the-less, it was fun to recount storm spotting adventures and learn of newer techniques to storm spotting and chasing.

The last event of my volunteer spree was that on April 29, 2012 I attended the National Capital Vegetarian Association’s (NCVA) 4^th annual Veg Fest at the Glebe community center. This was no new occurrence for me, as I have been there numerous times in the past. However, this year was slightly different. This year I was given the honour of volunteering with the NCVA at their booth.

The first event in which I took part in was that I, my sister and another volunteer all dressed up in the NCVA’s mascot costumes. My sister took the carrot costume, I took the mother Earth costume and the other volunteer took the cow costume. We then headed out to Bank Street to spread the world to those who hadn’t heard. At first I was actually scared to do this, as I am not that comfortable with public places. We grabbed our flyers and signs and stood at the corner of Bank and Third.

We continued to pass out flyers to passing onlookers informing them about Veg Fest and directing them towards the action.

A while into this, a man dressed in a black vest and blue shirt walked by us and said “Nice costumes girls. Keep up the good work!” I found this a bit peculiar and strange, but no matter I said “Thank you.” My sister pointed out the fact to me that the Mayor of Ottawa, Jim Watson was the man that passed by us. I was a bit in shock and looked down the street and

Even though we got quite a few stares (and photos taken of us as well), it was an interesting experience that changed my perspective about what volunteering truly was.

After we completed our 2 ½ hour shift outside, we received a break and time to look around at the various other booth’s that were exhibited. I saw many new (and old) booths while I was walking around. I saw some of my favourite booths, including Auntie Loo’s (who were displaying their delicious vegan confections), Café My House (sampling their amazing vegan fare), ZenKitchen (offering up their fine vegan cuisine). And finally a new favourite of mine called Gypsy and Company, featuring their unique apparel, jewelry along with delicious homemade vegan snacks. In addition, I also encountered some new exhibitors which offered up some surprises. The first was Simply Raw Express, a new vegan restaurant opening on May 12^th which specializes in raw cuisine. I sampled some of their dishes such as raw kale salad and was met my pure astonishment and deliciousness which roused my mouth for a good remainder of the event. The next booth was Credible Edibles, offering delicious vegan recipes and fare. Finally, Simply Natural Kosmetics was a booth that contained a wide range of natural vegan friendly cosmetics and beauty products. 

After our break, my sister and I moved onto our next task, which was to manage “NCVA booth 2” in the Guest speakers building. There we had to inform people about the NCVA and fill out membership forms. This occurred over a period of approximately 3 hours. In that period of time we managed to sell 7 memberships and help approximately 40 or so onlookers with questions about veganism and the NCVA.

By the end of the weekend, my feet were hurting, my back was breaking, but the satisfaction of a strong volunteering experience was loaded onto my mind. And over 30 community service hours later, I can say that I am proud to have partaken in this event and I can surely say that I will in fact do this again.

Here is a link to all the booths I have mentioned in this post:

http://www.simplynatural.ca/products-full-page.php

http://www.credible-edibles.ca/home.php

http://gypsyandcompany.ca/

http://www.zenkitchen.ca/

http://auntieloostreats.ca/

http://www.cafemyhouse.com/

Final Examinations in High Schools. Is it just setting students up for failure?

January 22, 2012

An issue that has raised my attention for a long time has yet to be acknowledged, the notion of final examinations in high schools. 
I do not believe that provincial exams are a true reflection of a student’s academic ability, but more or less the prospect of failure for some students.
According to the Princeton, a “final exam” is defined as: “an examination administered at the end of an academic term” The purpose of the final exam is to make a final review of the topics covered and assessment of each student's knowledge of the subject. A final is technically just a greater form of a "unit test". They have the same purpose, finals are just larger. 
For one, I have found from personal experience that there are a multitude of factors that affect one’s ability to think and impair one’s sense of reasoning and logic while completing an exam. 
First is timing. I do not believe that students are allowed a fair allotted amount of time to complete the exam. The standard time is 1 ½ to 2 hours Especially because of the fact that the standard period time is approximately 75 minutes, or 1 hour 15 minutes, I do not see how a student is expected to finish a 20 page exam, more or less a 3 page test during that time. Most students are barely able to complete a standard sized test in that time. I believe that the allotted amount of time to complete exams should be increased by at least a factor of 1-2 hours. Or even if an exam could acquire the whole day (8:00am-3:00pm) to write, this might allow students to take their time completing it, which will in the end, cause them to most likely do better and get a higher mark.
Secondly is spacing. I do not find it acceptable for a student to have to write the exam in a classroom full of 20+ other students. This can cause a greater increase of cheating because of the close proximity of each student (which is on average less than one meter apart). Also, some students find it difficult to concentrate when there are other people in the same room. Therefore, it should only be fair that any student that wishes to conduct their exam in a separate room should be allowed to without issue. This rule should not only apply to students who have an IEP (Individual Education Plan), as it is not fair to other students that do not have a recognized learning disability (such as Autism or ADD), but rather disorders (such as Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder) that affect their judgement and ability to conduct their exams in an appropriate manner the same way a learning disability does. 
Another issue is pressure. It is very difficult for a student to handle the pressure of exams, much less a student with a mental health or learning disorder which impairs their ability to think in a normal manner. With the rising about of suicide rates and mental illness in teenagers, this just causes teenagers, especially those with mental health issues to slowly break down and become socially withdrawn from society out of fear that they will fail their exams.  Nowadays, it seems that some students put too much pressure on themselves trying to excel in their academics and at school in general. The reason for each student varies, however the most common reasons tend to be: the need to impress their parents, out of fear of failure and disappointment, and the need to acquire a scholarship due to financial issues. 
A year ago, I got extremely sick from Bacterial Pneumonia, and as a result missed 3 weeks of school. I fell behind in a lot of my courses and missed units of work. When my mother called the school to explain what had happened, they did not fully comprehend the situation. After the fact that I got 4 doctor’s notes, excusing me from writing exams, the school still said that I had to write the exam. The fact of the matter is that according to provincial standards, it states that: “Medical certificates are required for illness preventing a student from participating.  Any other special circumstances requiring a student to miss a final evaluation task must be approved by the administration in advance”.  We handed in the first note 2 weeks before exams started (about a week after I was hospitalized). On top of the fact that my averages in all my classes were above 80%, I at the time did not see the point to taking an exam that I should have been exempt from in the first place. I ended up writing the exams because of the threat that the school enforced stating that they would not allow me to pass my grade ten year. 
The fact is that many teachers often begin exam preparation about 3-4 days (one week at the most) before the actual date of the exam. This causes students to “cram” and rush to try to study. It has been proven that short-term memory doesn't have enough space to store all the necessary material to know for exams. Also, cramming stupefies long-term memory (where well-learned material lives), and it can set students up for panic and "blanking." This including the fact that some teachers actually start to teach new concepts to students 3-4 days before the actual exam just causes for memory overload and the inability for a student to absorb the necessary knowledge they need. And on top of the fact that the average human being only remembers 10% of what they learn, just proves that many students most likely forget most of the stuff they are taught anyway. So what does it prove by making a student try to write a 10-25 page long exam filled with concepts that they can’t even remember. And especially the fact that they are only given two hours to do it just makes it that much more redundant. 
An alternative that I would suggest is going back to the old way of 1980’s, determining whether or not a student has to write an exam based on their term average. A term average of 80-85% should allow for an optional exemption from final exams. Or another option is to simply offer an alternate assignment/final project in which the student can choose which they would prefer to do.  It would be like an exam (making the student apply their knowledge of the concepts learned from the course), without the pressure of time.  It would reduce the amount of stress the student would have to endure while also allowing the student to expand their creativity and knowledge into applying into the assignment. Finally, the option of enforcing a “take-home final” in the Ontario curriculum could be considered. A take-home final is an exam at the end of a semester that is usually too long or complex to be completed in a single session. There is usually a deadline for completion, such as within one or two weeks of the end of the semester. A take-home final differs from a final paper.
It has been proven that even though a student does not seem to have a high academic ability, that they might actually be gifted in other manners (aka: Albert Einstein.) This is why we should not enforce such a strict standard on manners such as final exams, but rather the manner of catering each individual student’s abilities and to not teach “by the book” and expect every student to learn the same way.

Mental Health Awareness Week

February 12th, 2012

As many of you might be aware of, it is Mental Health Awareness Week. A mental illness is defined as: “any disease of the mind, which causes alterations in thinking, mood or behaviour, associated with significant distress and impaired functioning over an extended period of time.” A mental illness can fall into the categories of: anxiety disorders (affecting 12.2% of the population), mood disorders (affecting 8.3% of the population), schizophrenia (which affects 1% of the population), personality disorders (which affects approximately 9.1%), and eating disorders (which affect about 3% of people, mainly women). The complex interaction of genetic, biological and environmental factors is what causes one to develop a mental illness. Mental illness affects one’s educational achievement, career opportunities, and the formation of personal relationships.  The effect of having a mental illness extends throughout an individual's life.
The fact of the matter is that 1 in 5 Canadians suffer from some form of mental illness. That is 20% of all the people residing in Canada. This is a substantial number that will only continue to increase as the years go by. Mental illness does not care about gender, race, socio-economic backgrounds, etc... It targets random people at random times. 
I find that mental illness is one of the most overlooked issues in Canadian society. We place all of our focus on issues such as taxes and politics; we end up ignoring the problem at hand. The total cost of mental illness in 1993 was approximately 7.3 billion dollars. However, recent studies have shown that the cost has only increased with each passing year, going from 7.3 to 14.4 billion dollars within the last 9 years. Furthermore, the stigma attached to mental illnesses presents a barrier, not in the diagnosis and treatment, but also to overall acceptance of mental illnesses in the community.
One of the reasons why mental illness is so ignored is because many people are embarrassed or ashamed to mention that they are suffering from a mental illness. This should not be the case. I find that just because you have a mental illness does not imply that you are “crazy”, “psychotic” or “mental”. It means that your brain chemistry is abnormal, which is the result of most mental illnesses. It does not make you any less of a person by having a mental illness. In fact, it actually makes you stronger in a way. However, because of the fact that there is discrimination and stigma associated with the concept of mental illness, it results in stereotyping, embarrassment and fear of judgement.  They force a person to remain quiet about their mental illnesses, which ultimately causes them to delay seeking help for their mental illness.
A 2008 poll found that only 50% of Canadians would tell a friend that a family member has a mental illness while 72% would disclose a cancer diagnosis. This proves that the topic of mental illness is sensitive amongst most people and produces debates.
Mental illness has also targeted teenagers and youth in particular. The onset of most mental illnesses occurs during adolescence and young adulthood. Suicide is the second leading cause of death among 15- to 24-year-olds, accounting for 24% of the total number of deaths.  In 2007, 508 youths committed suicide in Canada, with many more attempting it. This number is both frightening and unacceptable. No teenager, or person for that matter, should ever have to go through such a painful ordeal. This mainly reflects these statistics because of the fact that there are not many programs that support youth that have mental illnesses that teenagers do not have anyone to turn to. In addition, studies have shown that more than 90 per cent of people, including youth who try to take their life have a pre-existing mental health disorder such as depression, schizophrenia, or bipolar disorder. Other factors which contribute to suicide and mental health disorders are issues with home/social/school life, trauma and substance abuse problems.
In the two cases of Daron Richardson and Jamie Hubley, it reflects two teenagers who took their own lives as a result of bullying. A force that has played a big role in shaping today’s youth into who they are now. It affects a child so deeply that it affects their sense of self and how they are perceived in the eyes of society most of the time for the worst.
Daron Richardson (daughter of former NHL hockey player and Ottawa Senators assistant coach Luke Richardson) was a 14 year old girl who was perceived as a normal teenager. She was smart, popular and a talented artist. However no one knew that behind all of that, there was a girl that was so scarred from being bullied that it had taken over her life. As a result in November of 2010, Daron took her own life. 
Another teenager who went through a similar experience was a boy named Jamie Hubley. He also took his own life just months ago. The only difference between the two was that unlike Daron, Jamie was being bullied on account of the fact that he was gay. Every day he struggled with depression and the pain of being bullied. People at school tormented him day after day, until on October 14, 2011, Jamie committed suicide. 
These kids were not any much younger than me. It just scares me that anyone can have this happen at any time, without any sort of support system to help them get through the ordeal. Now, because of this rapid increase of suicides throughout the past five years, there have been more programs developed such as Youth Net and The Zone for teenagers in crisis.
Mental Health Awareness has always been an issue very close to my heart, as I myself do suffer from depression, as well as Social Anxiety Disorder, OCD and mild Selective Mutism.
 I know how hard it is to live with mental illness. Every day is a struggle, a battle, a fight. Mental illness is so powerful, that it can take over your life in an instant. You feel so alone and scared that you don’t know who or where to turn to.  As a matter of fact, I have on multiple occasions had thoughts of suicide and self-harm. I had every reason to at the time; however the only thing that stopped me from doing so was the fact that I had people around me to support me. This included my family and close friends. I now look back and think if I had committed suicide, how it would affect the people around me, even those who I did not know very well. I then considered what I would be missing out on: my High School graduation, University, having a family of my own. All of these things were the reasons why I wanted to keep living, so why did I even think that suicide would rid me of all my problems. It would only cause them. 
In addition to this, in the summer of 2011, one of my (and my mother’s) dear friend’s committed suicide. He was only 40 years old. We worked together in an animal rescue deployment. We worked with him for approximately 3 months helping rescue animals and rehabilitating them. My mother in particular worked with him the most. However, one day we received a horrifying call informing us that he had taken his life. At that moment it felt as though my life had just stopped in its tracks. It is one of the worst feelings you could ever feel. It fills you with feelings of shame, guilt, anger and sadness. You feel guilty that you were unaware of what was happening. You feel shame that you couldn’t help them when they needed it. You feel anger as you think “Why did you do this to us? Why did you leave us?” Finally, the sadness and ever longing sorrow lingers in your soul for months, even years after the fact. This is a feeling that no one could ever get over or recover from. 
Also, people who I knew directly had also had people they knew recently commit suicide.  It`s just so hard to believe that someone could be so depressed that they would be serious enough to take their own life. This just proves how powerful the forces of mental illnesses, in conjunction with external factors such as bullying and traumatizing social experiences can really be.
One benefit about this is that most mental illnesses are treatable. Forms of treatment include medications such as anti-depressants, behavioural therapy and hospitalization (in severe cases). However, not all treatment works for everyone. This is why visiting a family physician or nearest mental health clinic is necessary before undergoing any treatment. 

And remember this, if you are in a crisis and feel like everything is working against you. You are not alone. There are people who are there for you, even if you do not think so. You are stronger than you’ll ever know.  

Here are some resources that you can turn to for help (mainly if you are in the Ottawa/Quebec area):

• Kids' Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868
• Youth Services Bureau's 24/7 Crisis Line (Eastern Ontario): 1-877-377-7775 Email: crisis@ysb.on.ca
• Ottawa Crisis Line: 1-866-996-0991
• Quebec Crisis Centre: 1-866-277-3553
• SuicidePrevention.ca
• Ottawa Distress Line: 613-238-3311
• Kids Help Phone 1-800-668-6868
• Child, Youth and Family Crisis Line for Eastern Ontario 1-877-377-7775
• Eastern Ottawa Resource Centre: 613-741-6025
• Mental Health Crisis Line (for ages 16 and up) 613-722-6914
• Youth Services Bureau of Ottawa 613-260-2360
• http://www.doitfordaron.com/mental-health-resources
• http://www.ontario.cmha.ca/family_resources.asp?cID=4808 



*Statistics and Definitions from the Canadian Mental Health Association

I created a new blog....

Okay, so as some of you may have noticed I deleted my old blog. This was because I felt that some of the things I was posting on there were too graphic for some people. And also, some of the things I posted on there caused me to lose one of the biggest opportunities of my life. And that devastated me greatly.

Therefore, I have decided to make a new blog, which will only consist of happiness. This including short stories, poetry and articles I have written. No personal feelings or dark thoughts. That's what diary's are for and I want to keep my innermost thoughts away from the dangers of the Internet.

So anyways, that's what is going down. Hope you like my blog from here on out.


-Shannon